No lie, Davy loves a good time. He lives to make (often inappropriate) jokes, party his frickin' balls off, and generally exist at the ultimate level of awesome. Even though he never intentionally tries to be a dick, sometimes he can come off as one - even (or especially) when he's doing it in a joking fashion. He'll inevitably apologize when it's brought to his attention that he's done it (whether by seeing it himself or having it pointed out to him) and will never go out of his way to be an asshole to somebody, especially for no reason. He hates being serious and will usually only do so if someone forces him (often by threat) to be.

He has a very kinetic physicality, which can sometimes make him seem a little ADHD. (He's never been diagnosed with it, thanks to his mother's hatred of complicated history and relationship with psychiatry, so he could very possibly be.) Pot is one of the only things that has ever calmed him down. He channels a lot of his energy into physical activities; running, hitting the gym, swimming, sex - literally anything to get him moving. Conversely, he's also been known to spend an entire day parked in front of a video game when the mood strikes him. Because he is totally a manchild.

Generally very good-natured and takes most situations lightly, but there are certain things he absolutely doesn't put up with and will stand his ground when he feels someone has stepped over a line. He can be a little ignorant of other people's space and has been known to invade it at his leisure unless someone is bold enough to tell him to back off. Has the personal motto of "a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet" and tends to talk to most people like he knows them, but it's never meant to be insulting or patronizing. He tries to be very Golden Rule in his actions and is a strong believer in Karma.

Has a tendency to casually flirt with any human with a pulse, though most of this is harmless. Until recently, he would rarely turn a good-looking guy down if he decided to take him up on anything, but overall has very little (to no) follow-through with 85% of his flirtations. Since he has difficulty expressing emotions on a serious or legitimate level, he often uses intimacy as a means of expressing how he feels about somebody - and sex is an important thing to him in any kind of "relationship" (very, very loose term) he's ever been in. At the same time, just because he fucks you doesn't mean he loves you.

Full Name David Thomas Jones Nicknames Davy, Dav(e), Big D, Big Gay Davy J, DJ, Caboose, King Homo (First of His Name), Peanut Butter, Forrest, Tina, Davinho, Butch Deadlift, Baby Jo, Clark Kent, Bilbro Baggins, Bronan the Barbarian, Brohann Sebastian Bach D.O.B & Age 10/09/1982 + 33 (Libra) Hair & Eyes Auburnish Brunet + Puppy Brown Height & Weight 6'1 1/2" + ~210lbs Tattoos & Piercings Absolutely Never Orientation Gold Star Gay (Kinsey 5.5) Occupation(s) Freelance Blogger, P/T Contracted Workhorse, BBBSNYC (+ Others) Volunteer, Fashion Designer, Amateur Comedian, Pet and/or Housesitter, Eye Candy, Dance Battle Veteran, Aspiring Life Coach + DJ, Professional Fanboy, Nude Model, Gay Activist via Existence, Instagram Photographer, Private Party Planner, Nobody's Damn Bitch, Occasional Stripper/Bartender + Pot Dealer, Performer of Odd Jobs, What Else You Gonna Need Boo?; Ex-Bartender, Ex-Go-Go Dancer Education NYU Grad (BA Communications, '05) Relationship Status Chronically Single + Casually Mingling Hometown Williamsburg, Brooklyn Residence Fort Greene, Brooklyn

Born and raised in the Williamsburg, Brooklyn area by a single mother (who is a huge fan of The Monkees), Davy has no idea who his father is... and, frankly, doesn't give a shit. His mother suffered from mental illness (anxiety/agoraphobia, bipolar disorder, OCD, and several other diagnoses over the years) his entire life and she received signficant help from her parents, now deceased, for as long as they were able. He has no known siblings. Davy's spent most of his life being the parent in his household.

Was always somewhat of a strange child growing up; smart but a little delinquent, with class clown tendencies that made it difficult to forge many meaningful friendships. Very active and athletic, enrolled in sports from an early age (as a type of babysitting), played well enough but was never let anyone think he was all that passionate or competitive about it. Continued to play baseball through high school and into early college, until he tore his rotator cuff and finally got the chance to quit.

Started smoking pot in recovery from surgery and began selling it (as well as bartending) to pay for his education when he forfeited his athletic scholarship. Majored in communications but has never used his degree in a professional capacity... and probably won't ever. Lives comfortably enough from the money he makes from his jobs and enjoys the social life it allows him to have; would never consider a more serious profession, simply because he knows he's not capable of being that serious about anything.

Has known he was gay since his freshman year of high school, but didn't officially come out until he was a senior. Although he was in a relationship (that ended before he went to college) at the time, most of his reasoning stemmed from being tired of denying something that was true anyway. Was involved in several physical altercations with other boys who bullied him about being "queer," and always won if they weren't separated before it was over. Almost got kicked off the team once or twice for these incidents, but it was always dropped to a brief game suspension. Rarely had problems in college, but the few times he did his coach neutralized the situation before anything could happen.

Didn't move out of his mom's house until after college, when he and a friend from school moved in together. It was a complicated friends with benefits situation that wound up with Davy catching a case of feelings, only to have the friend end up with a girl. A little more heartbroken than he wanted to admit he was, Davy wound up moving out and finding his own place; it was around this time that he started go-go dancing at the behest of a manager of a club he used to party at. Finding it a good way to supplement his income, he hasn't stopped since - though he only does it a day or two a week now, as well as the occasional private party.

Hasn't had a "serious" relationship (the guy he lived with doesn't count, since they were never declared to be in one) in his entire life, though he has dated several guys for extended periods of time. Most of his romantic life consists of hookups, generally repeated with people he's comfortable with (but just as frequently pulling one-nighters) but doesn't consider friends.

Up until August 2015, Davy was bartending five nights a week, dancing one or two, and selling pot whenever he has the time to hook it up for somebody. (He typically only sells to friends and friends-of-friends, and rarely will let them leave with more than an ounce at a time since he likes to stay under the radar.) He was living with a roommate in Queens, but moved back to Brooklyn, and has no pets or car; he prefers to keep his responsibilities to a minimum.

loved the dankest weed, every kind of beer, various stages of undress, crashing parties, all the comedy, getting into trouble, cheesy pickup lines, the yankees, 3am trips to the gym, mas tequila, dad jokes, broisms, benevolent harassment, cover songs and remixes, spam wars, hallucinogens, video games, dance-offs (pants optional), casual affection, that's what s/he said moments, carb overloads, playing dirty, making playlists, the uniquely creative, netflix binges, drag queens, improv karaoke, surprises not loved bad tippers, dealing with police and/or assholes, crystal meth, bigotry, playing pool, needles, watching actual tv (sports don't count), music snobs, 'roidheads, pointless arguments, having to make phone calls (it's 2015, learn to text), spoilers, expressing emotions verbally, self-appointed "fag hags," relationship talks, driving in traffic, hipsters, marvel comics, dudes who bathe in axe, general negativity

Is absolutely terrible at remembering names. Either he'll come up with some kind of mnemonic nickname to remember it by or remember people as something relevant to the first impression he got and/or physical appearance. This isn't always a good thing, but is often amusing... at least to him.

Absolutely cannot, will not live without his phone. It is on him at all times and he checks it constantly... even if he is a little notorious for reading a text and forgetting to reply until later. He's spacey, okay. He smokes a lot of weed.

Bartends with flair, because it gets him better tips. He happens to just have really good hand/eye coordination and it was something he picked up rather naturally. He's pretty damn good at it, and the extra money it earns him doesn't hurt.

Has recently (2015) begun wearing a "wedding ring" (it's really just a sterling band) when he's working, simply to deter most of the relentless passes made towards him. He never actually says he's married, he just holds up his left hand and moves on with his life.

Fluctuates between full-on lumberjack beard and babyface on a whim. Usually the beard happens when he hits a lazy streak, until it finally gets too hot/unruly when he'll finally shave it all off. It's a mood-dependent cycle.

Is pretty paranoid about his weed customers bringing people over to his apartment without vetting them prior. If he doesn't know you like that, he doesn't want to - so please stay away from his house. He has been known to ice people out for this transgression.

He really was named after Davy Jones from The Monkees. It's something he's had to learn to laugh at (and live with), because changing his name would crush his mother's soul... and she's already crazy enough as it is.

Has no tattoos or piercings to speak of, because he's kind of a pussy when it comes to that kind of pain. He also has a phobia of needles (tattoo guns don't have the same effect on him, but they still scare the bejesus out of him) that keeps him from taking that plunge.

Is a little farsighted, but hates wearing his glasses. He thinks he looks like a dweeb with them (spoiler alert: he's one anyway), and would rather squint than put them on his face in front of people. Alone is a different story.

Wears a size 15 shoe. He finds it pretty inconvenient when shopping for footwear he actually likes and/or will wear. It's also annoying when guys use that as some kind of pick-up line. He'd take a cheesy one over something that tactless.

He's actually a way better dancer than he lets on when he's working. He doesn't like to work too hard for a few dollars at a time, but if he's doing it for free it's a whole other ball game. Completely different sport, really.

Speaking of sports, Davy still loves baseball - despite having not played it in over a decade. He is a die-hard Yankees fan with zero fucks to give. Don't fuck with his team. He also might have wanted to play for them when he was a kid, but he'll never admit to that.

The internet gives him life. He lives for memes, gifs, and all things trending. He will abuse hashtags mercilessly and without remorse and finds cat videos hilarious. All hail the interwebs, it is his only master.

10/27/2015	The Big D Chronicles: #6
10/06/2015	The Big D Chronicles: #5
09/26/2015	The Big D Chronicles: #4
09/13/2015	The Big D Chronicles: #3
09/02/2015	The Big D Chronicles: #2
08/25/2015	The Big D Chronicles: #1

11/28/2015	Fake It 'til You Break It
11/06/2015	Double Booked
09/21/2015	Lost Angeles
08/29/2015	Don't Panic
08/27/2015	Shhh...
08/22/2015	You're Fired
07/20/2015	Momma's Boy
03/15/2009	After the Afterparty
07/25/2006	Boyfriend(ish) Pt. 5: The Last Time
05/16/2006	Boyfriend(ish) Pt. 4: How It Ended
02/28/2006	Boyfriend(ish) Pt. 2: When It Was Hard
10/02/2005	Boyfriend(ish) Pt. 1: When It Was Easy
01/13/2003	Boyfriend(ish) Pt. 3: How It Started

11/25/2015	Hump Day Free-For-All!
11/11/2015	Hump Day Free-For-All!
10/21/2015	Hump Day Free-For-All!
10/09/2015	Davy's 33rd Birthday Party!
10/07/2015	Hump Day Free-For-All!
09/16/2015	Hump Day Free-For-All!